Thursday, 16 May 2013

Italian Stallions, Milan Fashion, Monza Heroics, Chianti & Sex

Motorcycle Real Road Racing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

With an overdose of wildly vivid imagination, one could just as easily be in a welcoming Belfast pub sharing a bottle of Chianti with friends on an early warm summer evening – instead it’s a chic bar in the incredibly cosmopolitan Italian city of Milan – one of the world's great fashion capitals. To be completely honest though, the similarities are quite facetiously startling - Italy has Silvio Berlusconi, bunga bunga sex parties, criminal phenomenon la Cosa Nostra aka the Mafia, the Cathedral of Speed - Monza.

Northern Ireland can boast the Chuckle Brothers - Peter Robinson and Martin McGuiness, the infamously scandalous Stormont Clowns parties, and 57 shades of terrorists – IRA, RIRA, DIRA, PIRA, UDA, UVF, UFF - on goes the depressingly boring list of sad nonentities, and lest one forgets – the much loved Irish Temple of Speed - Nutt’s Corner.

Away from the high octane world of World Superbikes @ Monza, one turns her attentions to Chianti, Italian food, Italian fashion, and two inordinately stylish and passionate Italian males. Sublime is not having to endure British/Irish stubble rash – anywhere it’s nasty, horrible and painful – Italian stallions are more thoughtful - clean shaven – appreciative of their women.

The trip had been hastily arranged - destination, the breathtakingly beautiful Autodromo Nazionale Monza race track for round four of the World Superbike World Championship. Arrived Firday afternoon at Milano Linate Airport – not my most favourite of airports, best described as being inadequate – waiting with my two typically apologetic friends - the rain one thought had been a left behind Belfast memory.

Italians – both sexes - are famous for their simple yet elegant clothing trends – even if you’re not, one should strive to be chic, elegant and sophisticated. The men love women with an exquisite dress sense, and there was moi with a shoulder bag full of crumpled tee shirts, miniskirts and little else but smalls. The sheer opulence of Italian fashion beckoned - Milan's Via della Spiga – paradise for the discerning fashion aficionado - and moi.

For Lucca and Sal, the very essence of femininity is a sizzling well fitted little black dress with the emphasis on sexual allure. How could one disappoint, the first chosen dress is indeed black, extra short with open back detail strappy back. A crepe G-string with top and bottom lace braid decoration, frontal lace bows and removable suspenders for obligatory stockings, plus of course shoes in black supple leather. I love dressing for adoring men - not undressing though - undressing moi is a chore best left to her men.

Shopped out, wined and dined - the original plan of driving north to stay in Monza got shelved – Italy has strict drink driving laws – a good excuse to indulge ourselves for a few nights amidst the opulence of an exceptionally beautiful Milan hotel. Outside, while the rain pelted down, flickers of lightning lit the night sky, but it’s doubtful if any one of us took much notice. We did make it North to Monza for Saturday qualifying, and suspenseful, exciting races on a beautiful Sunday, the best of which for moi, was the astonishingly thrilling Pata European Junior Cup event - a ten rider battle right to the chequered flag - the very best of real road racing heroics.

No matter how many times one has been to the hallowed grounds of Monza, always there is an electrifying sensation – not always is it the electrical storms - the Monza motorcycle road racing spectator experience, and track day and/or testing experience - simply out of this world. One therefore suggests whilst still of sound mind and spirit - put both on your list of things to do before dying – do it now!

Unlike their fellow Europeans – the Irish – Northerners included, are most certainly not a liberal-minded people, especially so when it comes to extramarital affairs. Those who would dare to have such impure thoughts in Ireland - will be condemned to eternal torment in hell, fire and damnation by any number of deranged bible thumping madmen including paedophiles and criminals - all legally masquerading as men of the cloth.

Not being ever married, nearly married or intending to be married - nor in any way religious - one can honestly say she isn't concerned about the rantings of the Holier than thou freaks of this world, unlike Lucca and Sal. Both will have the cohorts of his Holiness to contend with, but one would suggest playing two into one away from home with moi, is rather more acceptable and legal than paedophile criminals indulging in sickening one on one abusive sex with little children. Paedophiles sentence their young victims to a tormented life of hellfire and damnation, therefore new worldwide laws must be agreed - castration and life behind bars for all abusers of little children - should be the norm.

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Save Our Sport From Evil

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