Thursday, 28 March 2013

Prostitution - The Murkier Side of Motorcycle Road Racing

Irish Real Road Racing Motorcycle Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

Believe it or believe it not, this is a posting related to all disciplines of motorcycle racing – legal or otherwise – worldwide. As is often the case though, if you’re of a nervous disposition, easily offended, easily corrupted, a feminist, a sexist, or member of any other weird section of our diverse multicultural community – look away now - one will not be liable for any life-altering hallucinations you may, or may not experience.

Whilst many motorcycle racers secured placements within teams at the last of the last moments for the new season - numerous others have found themselves on an unplanned unpaid sabbatical. Worse than that, in the increasingly murky world of motorcycle racing – the team/rider relationship has descended into pay as you ride prostitution. For those female competitors though whose shameless self-promoting marketing skills are non-existent - raising large wads of sponsorship money to buy their unpaid place in an already cash strapped team has become an impossible task.

One makes no excuse for the clothes she wears, allegedly it’s a free world, if you think I dress like a slut, that’s your prerogative – likewise its mine to be a slut, or not – clothes have nought to do with it, it’s all in your mind. How I choose to dress doesn’t translate into ‘she’s asking for it’ – when I want it, I have no qualms about asking, likewise when a man wants it, he only has to ask – what’s the problem with that? I can only say ‘Yes!’ or ‘No!’ Sex though, isn’t the only thing you can procure by promoting oneself as a marketable brand – for moi it’s the use of motorcycles for track days, test sessions, free kit, free accommodation, meals, designer clothing,  products you’d rather not read about.


Born April 22nd 1912 Dot Robinson, the trailblazing First Lady of Motorcycling even way back then flaunted her femininity to good effect - fashionably dressed, immaculately applied make-up, ready for the cameras – a lesson in self-promotion the many girls now participating in motorcycle racing should take heed off. NASCAR, the current masters of marketing a motorsport series hasn’t missed many tricks with Danica Patrick who’s been given the media superstar treatment - who now doesn’t know of her fame, name, face – an overnight sensation, nearly.

What is wrong with our young female motorcycle racers, many have already proven to be competitive, yet still they are struggling for sponsorship, and/or a team place – don’t they realise how fortunate they are to be women in what was traditionally the sport of men? Joining the men doesn’t equate to having to become one - if you’re a woman, embrace your female form and be a real woman - if you don’t know how – seek advice. In these times of severe austerity one requires an edge over the opposition, new methods of acquiring sponsorship funding are a necessity, therefore one must be flexible, get outside of your comfort zone and flaunt yourself. One of course must congratulate Sandra Stammova for daring to take the plunge, now she must fully capitalise on her glamorous and exotic image and target a new fan base outside the motorcycle road racing fraternity.

One cannot finish without also questioning team principles, personal managers, PR companies, and whatever or whoever might be involved in guiding these young women through their short motorcycle racing career – how ineptly incompetent is it possible to be? Have these people no imagination, like it or not, glamour sells, use it to acquire mainstream news media coverage which will ultimately increase their visibility to a whole new audience - many are the creative things one can do to maximise publicity success. As an example, brolly girls are popular - already on my curriculum vitae - but imagine the publicity possibilities if Nicole McAleer were to appear on the grid at Brands Hatch with a scantily clad brolly man by her side!!!!!!

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Monday, 25 March 2013

A Ride On The Edge Is A Ride On The Wild Side of Life

Irish Real Road Racing Motorcycle Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

Whilst one can fully understand the self- serving motives of those who have for many years been successfully promoting the motorcycle racing in decline denial movement – one has to wonder if the damage the campaign has inflicted upon the sport is now beyond rectification. Proclaiming the killing of an estimated 100 million Native Americans wasn’t genocide or that the killing of six million Jews is a myth won’t turn absolute truth into fiction - claiming likewise that motorcycle road racing is a thriving sport won't alter the fact it is not.

The past is where it belongs; around the world, motorcycle road racing has to be reborn, reinvented, and rebranded. As opposed to the stars of golf, F1, football, NASCAR, snooker, baseball and the rest, motorcycle road racers can only be described as being non-entities – who but a few within the bikers circle of knowledge would recognise in any chosen street - Josh Hayes, Marc Marquez, Eugene Laverty, Shane Byrne, Elena Myers, Jorge Lorenzo, et al?

Earlier this year there was the Nascar Daytona 500 boring as paint drying spectacle which boasted attendance figures of 250000, and a personally triumphant weekend for Danica Patrick. Weeks later, held during Daytona Bike Week, the annual AMA Daytona 200 motorcycle road races allegedly hadn’t many more spectators than I’ve had sexual encounters, this despite the fact 300000 bikers where entertaining themselves nearby - probably sexually, which means what – sex is better than the spectacle of motorcycles being raced?

The fading MotoGP series has fared no better since going to the home of the NASCAR Indy 500 - Dorna achieved virtually nothing for the sport other than to highlight the stark popularity gap between a National Car Race Championship and what is billed as the Blue Riband, crème de la crème motorcycle road racing World Championship – grandstands and infields bursting at the seams v emptiness - at which event would you want to advertise your wares?.

If nothing else, all of the foregoing merely confirms that motorcycle racing in America is suffering the same as it is in Ireland, and the rest of the world, yet it continues to be the most exciting, and dangerous of all motorsports. Problem is though; it has no identity, no personality, it's as soulless as the numerous clueless military dictatorships masquerading as the Governing bodies of motorcycle racing around planet Earth.

Since the successful marketing of our sport is beyond the capabilities of the governing bodies/promoters, we have to therefore depend on visionary individuals – people like Stacy Sacra, a dedicated biker with a fiery desire to help promote our beloved sport to a worldwide audience. For nigh on 20 years Stacy has worked in television as a producer/videographer/editor, been nominated for four Emmy Awards - considered the television equivalent to the Academy Awards - and won two of those prestigious Emmys.

If ever there was a much respected person with the necessary qualifications and flair to produce a fun and energetic movie to publicise our sport to an audience that may not even be familiar with it, the award winning Stacy Sacra could be one of the savours our sport so badly needs. Likewise, motorcycle road racing needs you, for although work on the project is already underway, mostly self-financed by the great man himself, sponsorship donations are required - large, small or miniscule - so help save your sport now!

Go here to learn more about the film, and/or the benefits of donating to the worthwhile project A Ride on the Edge

Now have a look at the pitch video for A Ride on the Edge, a short film about motorcycle road racing. The speed, the sound and the passion!


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Thursday, 21 March 2013

First Amendment of the Constitution of Irish Motorcycle Sport

Irish Real Road Racing Motorcycle Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

As an alleged direct result of mismanagement coupled with sheer and utter incompetence, Irish motorcycle racing has become a massive stagnant Dinosaur infested pool resembling a third world open sewage system - spectators reel back from the lingering foul smelling stench – attendance figures for motorcycle racing events have been in sharp decline for years – can it be saved from extinction?

One of the objects within the MCUI Constitution reads - to promote motorcycling in its different forms - which obviously prompts one to suspect the aforementioned Constitution is nothing more than meaningless pretentious drivel. Clearly the Motor Cycle Union of Ireland (Southern Centre) Limited, the Motor Cycle Union of Ireland (Ulster Centre) Limited, and the Motor Cycle Racing Association (Ireland) Limited have collectively spectacularly failed to promote, develop, and sustain the various disciplines of motorcycle sport as they exist in Ireland – barely exist to be more accurate.

For too many years - under the alleged auspices of a conglomeration of headless chickens, or should that be headless Dinosaurs - the sport of motorcycle racing in Ireland has been unsuccessfully endeavouring to survive. In order to save the sport of Irish motorcycling in its different forms, life saving major surgery is urgently required – the cancerous Dinosaurs have to be removed - bypass the NHS waiting lists, and go private.

Promoting Irish motorcycle racing to a new generation of corporate sponsors, competitors and fans will require strong, imaginative and inspiring leadership. Throughout the world, sport has become a business - a multi-billion dollar business empire the significance of which the unfit for purpose Governing bodies, and promoters have failed to grasp and/or act upon. The sport needs an all new leadership team whose visions for the future resonates with sponsors, competitors and fans alike. The alleged self-serving secret society dictatorship hierarchy must be overthrown by those whose imagination doesn’t involve winning MotoGP races on a Manx Norton.

Browse old photographs, watch any old film footage of Irish motorcycle road racing events, grass track meetings etc. and one can’t help but notice the huge crowds of enthusiastic spectators – those glory days though have faded into obscurity – but can we dare lay the blame at the feet of the MCUI whose tireless promotion of motorcycling in its different forms has allegedly generated healthy bank balances for its various Limited Companies?

The Governing body and motorcycle racing promoters here in Northern Ireland have a long and distinguished history of tapping into easy government money, a wholly understandable situation, after all, attracting new corporate sponsors, and paying spectators has proven to be far beyond the capabilities of the current leadership team. On the premise though, that importing second rate, often aging competitors to our shores will attract humongous numbers of spectators to motorcycle events and so boost the local economy, it is much easier for promoters to now invent outlandish fantasy attendance figures to impress local government for the sole purpose of acquiring taxpayers funding.

If it is to have a long term prosperous future - any future - Irish motorcycle racing will require an all new accountable leadership team – including marketing communicators, and creative visionaries with the capacity to rebrand the sport, deliver corporate partnerships, and a whole new generation of fee paying fans as opposed to the freeloading hedgehoppers, but most importantly – the safety of competitors and spectators has to be the number one priority.

Motorcycle racing in Ireland has paid a high price for the alleged policy of perceptibly not giving a damn about the lives of others – sponsors, competitors and fans have abandoned the sport in droves, removing the alleged dictatorial Dinosaurs from power will be a much easier task than winning back the disillusioned fans, competitors and sponsors – it can be achieved though, if the sport is to survive - sooner rather than later, it must be achieved.

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Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Easter Festival Races @ Bishopscourt - Saturday 30th March

Irish Real Road Racing Motorcycle Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

Ulster & Irish Short Circuit Championship @ Bishopscourt - Saturday 30th March - 37th Enkalon Trophy in association with Adelaide Insurance.

The Easter Festival Races entry’s to date are well up on the same time in 2012 which is very encouraging for the clubs with competitors taken advantage of the discounted entry fee, we can still take entry’s for some events up until Good Friday.

Changes to this year event include it returning to a one day Event and the MCUI Championships now in a single format which so far seems to be a step in the right direction for a new ERA in Short Circuits.

The Enkalon Trophy in association with Adelaide Insurance Services will be contested over two legs of the Superbike races and should have a new winner going by our entry list.

Three reigning Irish Champions return to compete in their classes Thomas Lawlor in 250GP, David Haire in Supersport and Denver Robb in the Superbikes although Denver may only compete at selected events throughout the year.



Superbike class has a superb entry with Denver Robb and his sparring partner from last year David Haire, Nico Mawhinney, Mark Glasgow, Wayne Kirwan, Michael Sweeney and Crumlin’s Stephen Thompson returns to Local racing scene after his incident at the UGP last year. This fourteen wheeler should provide excellent nose to tail racing in the superbikes. Scottish competitor Bruce Birnie a BSB Superstock regular has also confirmed his entry for this class.

The “Enkalon Trophy” in association with Adelaide Insurance, both legs of the Superbike Races count and in the event of a tie the 2nd race decides. Superbike Cup class winner will receive the Sam Martin Memorial Cup.

Walter Bell Oil Fired Boilers Supersport class, defending Champion David Haire leads what can only described as WHOs Who in this class, which must be the favourite class for the closest racing of the day as any one of ten young Gun competitors could win. Nico Mawhinney, Jason Lynn, Carl Phillips, Mark Conlin, Robert English, Jamie Patterson, Timothy Elwood, Robert Kennedy, Drew Jamision and the road race competitors Wayne Kirwan and Michael Sweeney hoping to mix it up. Definitely not to be missed. Both Superbike & Supersport classes have a Cup Championship within them for the less experienced competitors.

250GP class will once again have D&GW backing for their Championship and although numbers have dropped off over the last few years this class still produce excellent racing. 250GPs will run concurrently with the Pre injection class which has grown bigger now in its 3rd Championship year.

650cc Supertwins and Production twins have a mixture of pure road racers and short circuit competitors filling the grid and again will produce great racing throughout the field, this class is a good beginners class with relatively low running costs.

Sidecars will have all the local competitors on the grid for our Easter event which is great to see, with some newcomers to the three wheelers and returning competitors from a few years ago. Andy Kennedy could be our oldest competitor on the day returning to the sport at 68yrs young, European and British Championship competitor John Clarke returns to Bishopscourt. Reigning Champion Dylan Lynch hopes to be on the grid with runner up and veteran Scobby Killough.

Moto 3 class has some of the youngest competitors in the country chasing the wins, Kevin Keys and Kia McGreevy winners of the recent Red Bull under my wings competition with Jonathan Rea and Jeremy McWilliams, Korrie McGreevy, Kyle Cross, Matthew Haslett, Ross Patterson and our local female competitors Melissa Kennedy, Karen Hadden and Elle Forrest will put in the mix for honours. Again Moto3 will run concurrently with a full turn out of supersport 400 machines. 125 Production Class will give under 16yrs two races around the Bishopscourt circuit.

The changes to championship formats will provide fuller grids, closer racing in all classes and with the event back to a one day format spectators only need to travel to the circuit once and will be in for a great full days racing commencing at approx 11am. Practice 9am. Spectator offer - Spectators can benefit from the massive discounted admission charge of £5 including a programme to the event. We have introduced this low charge to encourage families to come and enjoy the day out at one of the UKs best Circuits and a superb exciting motorcycle event with all resources on site.

We recommend that you Come Early enjoy the racing and have a great day out. Bishopscourt Racing circuit has on site catering, toilet/shower blocks with disabled access and viewing areas. There will be a Trophy prize given at the end of the days racing for the overall Podium prize winners in each Class. Promoted by The Motor Cycle Road Racing Club of Ireland and the Killinchy & District Motorcycle Club Ltd.

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Monday, 18 March 2013

YOSHIMURA Suzuki Captures Superbike Victory @ Daytona

Irish Real Road Racing Motorcycle Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

Yoshimura Suzuki’s Martin Cardenas wins & podiums, teammate Chris Clark celebrates first top-five result.

DAYTONA BEACH, FL (Feb. 17, 2013) – The Yoshimura Suzuki Factory Racing team had more than its fair share to celebrate after the season-opening round of the 2013 AMA Pro Superbike Championships this weekend at Daytona International Speedway in Daytona Beach, FL. Yoshimura Suzuki’s newest rider Martin Cardenas raced his Suzuki GSX-R1000 to a victory and a podium finish at the event, while teammate Chris Clark picked up the best result of his AMA Pro Superbike career.

For Yoshimura Suzuki’s Cardenas, the weekend was a successful one through and through. The Colombian rider started the weekend by qualifying on the front row of the grid and getting good starts in both Superbike races. In the first 15-lap race, Cardenas pushed hard on every lap and was there to capitalize on other riders’ mistakes and finish second. In the weekend’s second race, Cardenas redoubled his successful efforts from the day before, turned in a flawlessly aggressive ride and captured the win.

“I’m very happy and I want to thank the Yoshimura Suzuki team for giving me the opportunity to race for them,” said Cardenas. “The weekend was good for us. In Friday’s race, I got a good start on the Yoshimura Suzuki GSX-R1000 and got into second. I planned to make the pass for the win on the last lap but I made a mistake and that didn’t work out for me. On Saturday, I was able to get into the lead and I tried to keep a good pace and not make mistakes. We ended up winning and now I’m looking forward to Road America.”

Likewise, Yoshimura Suzuki’s Clark left the famous Daytona banking on a high note. In the weekend’s first race, Clark turned in 15 solid laps to pick up his first-ever top-five AMA Pro Superbike result. The next day, he followed up that performance with another respectable race to bring home a sixth-place finish.

“It was good to get the first race out of the way,” admitted Clark. “I was able to get the best finish of my career with fifth, so I was really happy about that. It was a little tough the first few laps because I didn’t get a good start but I was able to get around some guys on the Yoshimura Suzuki GSX-R1000. I made a few little mistakes in the middle of the race but overall I was happy. In the second race, I finished sixth and we wound up fifth in the points so this was the best race weekend I’ve ever had. Now I’m just excited to get to Road America.”

The Yoshimura Suzuki Factory Racing team’s next event of the 2013 AMA Pro Superbike Championship series is at Road America in Elkhart Lake, WI, the weekend of May 31 – June 2, 2012.

Check out the Daytona Superbike “Behind The Scenes Race Report”

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Friday, 15 March 2013

Sexercise Romps With Marilyn Monroe & Michael O'Leary!!!

Irish Real Road Racing Motorcycle Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

When allegedly responding to a question about posing nude, the late Marilyn Monroe wrote “The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up.” A sentiment one whole heartedly agrees with – if he’s reasonably fit, ruggedly gorgeous, and available - I want to see what else is on offer. Needless to say, if one is satisfied with the available package, one would always reciprocate in kind, my body is much like an open library book - what about your body? Man or woman – should you perchance glimpse the reflection of your nude self in the mirror – might you see what others would see – flabbiness, beer belly, obesity – if so - embarrassing, or not?

You don’t have to be a nuclear physicist - common sense should tell you being overweight puts a severe strain on every part of your body – your joints, your organs - heart failure, heart attack, cardiac arrest – it matters not what the difference is – you’ll still most likely be dead. Surely the option of staying alive with improved health is preferable to dying before your time.

Transporting excess baggage is a painful, and expensive exercise – if you think not, you haven’t flown with Michael O'Leary Airways – carrying it around day in, day out, will drag you under, who will throw a lifeline when you’re drowning in the sea of life? Even if you have no desire to participate in fun runs, motorcycle track days, or sweaty sexual marathons - one should still nonetheless strive to be both mentally and physically prepared for the rest of your life. Just think what you could pack into an extra ten/twenty/thirty years of healthy living – use your own imagination!!!

As a result of the public’s increased awareness of health and dietary issues, the popularity of physical fitness and nutrition instructors has increased dramatically – they’re everywhere, taking over the world it seems – in your home, the workplace, the park, gym, schools and more, but for how much longer? For professional sportsmen/women, they’re essential to achieving success, for some they’re merely a status symbol, expensive eye candy - for others they’re simply unaffordable, but the reality is, sooner rather than later, they’re going to be vastly surplus to requirements – possibly apart from those who are what they claim.

For moi, it’s always been about staying fit and healthy without going overboard – financially or otherwise, which incidentally is now fast becoming the latest fitness to health trend. Back to basics is gathering pace, particularly so the ‘buddy system’ which for some, translates into taking your dog for walks – apart from those that earn their keep, I hate dogs, and cats – more popular though, and highly recommended is taking your fellow man, or woman for walks, or whatever keeps you fit. Walking groups are breeding like rabbits, as are jogging groups; one is as beneficial as the other – not only providing enhanced motivation but such a great way to extend your social circle - new men, new women, to revive your battered self-esteem.

Before the exercise though, there’s the eating of more junk food than your body can make use off, the beer, and the soft drinks to consider – junk the junk, and do it today. And now for what you should eat and drink - a small dose of everyday common sense is required - don’t get sucked into the latest inedible dietary foods scams, nor the counting of daily calories, staying fit and healthy should be enjoyed, not endured, it’s so much better to lose the pounds slowly and steadily by consuming real food, that way – keeping them off will be so much easier.

The dawn of each new working day finds moi walking/jogging the streets alone, breakfasting alone, in that order - no distracting stay overs - winter morning breakfasts are porridge with low-fat milk, fruit juice and black coffee whilst for summer mornings, when/if it arrives – it’s high-fibre cereal with fruit, yogurt and the obligatory black coffee.

Time permitting; despite sitting around on my ass for most of the day, a necessity is lunch - fruit and/or scrambled/poached egg with a piece of whole-wheat toast, and finally dinner menu can consist of fish, chicken, eggs, who knows which came first - very occasionally lamb or pork - brown rice  – pasta when extra energy is required the next day - vegetables, fruit, glass of red wine – I shouldn’t but I do, occasionally several glasses, especially after a trying week. Before and after dinner though, I walk and jog – sometimes with friends, sometimes not – if the weather is really foul – apartment floor push-ups, sit-ups, exhilarating sweat inducing sex.

Before plunging into your own physical fitness routine, there are the ground rules to consider, set yourself some targets, nothing drastic – certainly not the impossible - imposing burdensome expectations upon oneself is the road to disappointment and failure. Remember that any exercise is a whole lot better than none, living is about motion, without it, we stop living. Amongst other pleasurable things, the human body was designed to walk, and run – it’s easy, just like riding a bike or your first conquest – you never forget – just do it, and do it often.

And finally, despite brazenly promoting it before and again - there's the easiest most effective and pleasurable exercise of all which delivers a multitude of astounding health rewards from staying fit and burning 300 calories an hour, to combating cancer - raucous, mind-blowing, wild and wondrous sex. According to the UK National Health Service - the key to healthy living is a good bout of sexercise – allegedly it might possibly also cure all known afflictions – soothes pain, cures insomnia, reduces stress, lowers the risk of a heart attack and even puts a spring in your step, a twinkle in your eye and so much more. Orgasms they also say, releases painkillers into the bloodstream, which helps keep mild illnesses like colds and aches and pains at bay, and produces extra oestrogen and testosterone hormones to keep your bones and muscles healthy - who needs doctors?!

So if as claimed by the NHS, one can burn off 300 calories an hour whilst indulging in a mind-blowing orgasmic sex session with a fit and healthy imaginative partner - wouldst involving an additional imaginative partner possibly burn off 600 calories per hour? Oh wait - having taken a moment to consider that most vexing question, perhaps one already know'st ......

'Aussie Indoor Sports' where fitness meets fun in a friendly and relaxed environment.

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Friday, 8 March 2013

Yoshimura Suzuki’s Martin Cardenas & Chris Clark Ready for Daytona

Irish Real Road Racing Motorcycle Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

The 2013 AMA Pro Superbike season holds nothing but promise for Yoshimura Suzuki Factory Racing. Fielding new rider Martin Cardenas and returning rider Chris Clark on championship-winning Yoshimura Suzuki GSX-R1000s, the team is eager to go racing at the season-opening round of the series next week at Daytona International Speedway in Daytona Beach, FL.

Leading the charge for the Yoshimura Suzuki squad is two-time AMA Pro Daytona SportBike Champion Cardenas. Not only did Cardenas win the 600cc title in 2012, he also picked up eight wins in the process. The year prior, Cardenas raced the premier Superbike class, finishing sixth and fourth at the Daytona races. Now, the Colombian racer is looking forward to returning to the Superbike class and to the first race of the season at Daytona in particular.

“We’re working really hard to get ready for the first race at Daytona,” said Cardenas. “I’ve been getting familiar with the Yoshimura Suzuki GSX-R1000 and I’ve found it to be incredibly powerful. My goal for Daytona, and also for the year, is to try to fight for the win or podium positions in each race. Right now I have, if not the best team in the paddock, then one of the best teams, behind me, and that gives me a lot of confidence going into the season-opening round.”

Like Cardenas, returning Yoshimura Suzuki rider Clark is looking toward the upcoming Daytona race with enthusiasm and anticipation. In 2012, Clark captured his best qualifying time of the season at Daytona. He also picked up two top-10 finishes in the Superbike races. In the weekend’s second race, Clark celebrated a season’s best seventh-place result. Heading to Daytona in 2013, the Yoshimura Suzuki rider is hoping to take his performance to the next level.

“Every year I’ve felt like I’ve improved and I want to keep that going, starting with Daytona,” said Clark. “I think that my new fitness regimen will help elevate that. This year, the AMA Pro Superbike field is really stacked with top-caliber riders. At Daytona, I’d love to get on the podium and be battling with those guys up front. It’s definitely going to be a challenge but it’s one I’m up to and look forward to.”

The Yoshimura Suzuki Factory Racing team will once again aggressively campaigning the championship-winning Yoshimura Suzuki GSX-R1000 in the 2013 AMA Pro Superbike Championship series, which kicks off March 14 - 16 with round one at Daytona International Raceway in Daytona Beach, FL.





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Thursday, 7 March 2013

The Phenomenal Sexploits of Waddling Drunken Ducks

Irish Real Road Racing Motorcycle Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

Just why humans evolved to walk upright is still unclear, leastways to moi - most certainly though, we may reasonably surmise we did not evolve to waddle like a drunk duck – an eerie phenomenon moi has actually witnessed. When George Bernard Shaw declared “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” - one doubts he was suggesting we should create a world of humanlike walruses – no offence to walruses – leastways their blubber is required to survive sub-zero cold weather conditions.

Whilst it has reached epidemic proportions, referring to it as a disease is an obscenity – an insult to people who actually do care for their body, the only body you will ever possess – abuse it at your peril.

Approximately two billion plus weak minded people worldwide are obese – fifty million plus are children, but perhaps most startling is the fact that more people are now dying from obesity, or obesity related illnesses, than from malnutrition. In this modern caring age in which we live, and die - whilst two billion people are committing suicide by gorging – another one billion people are dying of starvation - truly shocking statistics.

Most certainly one has to pity the millions of obese children, condemned to a life of misery by their stupendously moronic parents - all enroute to an early grave. Very obviously one has little sympathy for the adults whose obesity has been self-inflicted – even though they never will have the opportunity to experience the exhilarations of riding a high powered motorcycle at speed, nor participate in a mind blowing orgasmic marathon romp with a physically fit, lean and energetic member of the opposite sex.

Multinational companies have been capitalising on the weaknesses of people for years, fat profits from fat people - billions of dollars/pounds sterling/euros. Sales of fat inducing soft drinks, fast foods, sweet foods, treats – all highly addictive – sugar, fat, salt, and high fructose corn syrup, an alarming ingredient now estimated to be in at least 60000 plus food products – all highly recommended as essential for diet-induced obesity.

On the plus side though, leastways for some, obesity has spawned a whole new industry, self-serving diet gurus have turned themselves into global brands churning out dubious diet books, diet plans, and weight loss programs. Add fitness gurus and their equally nonsensical merchandise to the list and whilst many of these gurus often disappear, mainly they do so with your hard earned money – all of them, the multinational companies and the individuals - vultures preying on the vulnerable members of society. Are you one of those two billion obese people ? Are you sure you're not?

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Monday, 4 March 2013

Experiencing the Orgasmic Pleasures of Motorcycle Track Days

Irish Real Road Racing Motorcycle Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

How desperate for money would one have to be to even consider participating in experimental hypothermia inducing research? Not many – moi included – though a few short years ago, one has to admit to believing she’d developed self-inflicted hypothermia – not once, but twice. Taking part in one motorcycle track day in the midst of winter could be considered foolish, returning two weeks later for more of the same – insane – the benefit of newly purchased unglamorous thermal underwear - barely negligible.

Worse is being painfully winded, barely able to breathe, presumably bruised, on your back in a gravel trap on a bitterly cold, bleak, desolate winter’s day – wondering what possessed moi to think it’d be a totally exhilarating way to spend a day on an R6, thrashing it around some godforsaken, inaccessible, middle of nowhere race track. Winter is a time for socialising, if I’m to be on my back, it’s to indulge in hot sweaty sex - great for the figure, and lowering home heating costs.

The ever burgeoning motorcycle track-day scene has spawned a raft of new businesses across the UK and around the world – there’s hardly a race track anywhere, around which you cannot thrash your pride and joy, test the kitty litter - possibly appropriate for moi - the air fencing, and indulge in some quite extensive tarmac testing. Alternatively one can rent a more suitable ride, presuming we're still discussing riding motorcycles. Nowadays for moi the bikes are seldom hired, mostly they’re borrowed from very trusting friends - not stolen yet, as such, current favourite a lovingly prepared Yamaha R6.

One soon discovers though, as is the case in all walks of life, a much anticipated event can turn sour when your chosen track day company turns out to be somewhat less than reputable. Before parting with your money, do your homework – ‘research’ is the keyword – use the Internet, read reviews, ask for contact details of previous customers, choose carefully and if it’s your first foray into the world of track days – opt for a circuit close to home. Moi will refrain from naming the circuits where trifling mishaps have occurred but can nonetheless highly recommend Donington Park, Oulton Park, Anglesey, Cartagena, Portimao, Le Mans, Almeria, Jerez, and Monza - a truly magical circuit by any standards. Be aware though, some tracks have strict noise limits which will be enforced in accordance with the circuit regulations - always check before embarking on what could prove to be an expensive wasted trip.

For track days, several necessities spring to mind, beginning with a valid licence, then depending on what value you place upon your lean, toned, healthy body - it's ample protective clothing, a one piece Kangaroo leather suit for moi, much lighter than their cowhide counterparts yet offers amazing protection, top quality helmet, boots, gloves, knee and elbow protectors, back protector, and top notch chest protector – one has to protect her assets.

Don’t over worry about crashing though, which will be embarrassing, and will hurt - just accept the fact it’s going to happen – most likely sooner rather than later – probably on your first outing if you don’t learn the track before attempting your Casey Stoner impression - all circuits have fully qualified paramedics and ambulance available – if not – do not go out on track. Take out adequate insurance, it is so very easy to get carried away when you first get onto that track, so whilst ones current insurance policy might be valid, do as moi – take out specialist insurance. Acquire a track day insurance policy which covers damage to your motorcycle, and more importantly - provides personal accident cover for both the UK and foreign fields, and also covers the very expensive cost of medical repatriation.

Best not to concern yourself unduly just yet with physical fitness for although it matters to moi – others seen on track days appear to be rather fond of overindulging in beer and chips – no offence intended. Should it be the case though that one is intending to attempt 20+ lap race simulations, take on board plenty of water for rehydration – sports drinks if you’re that way inclined – stock up on high energy snack bars – healthy bananas for moi - eat pasta the night before – its slow release energy will keep you going throughout a trying day.

And now for a few final snippets of advice for the boys and girls venturing out on their first foray into the world of track day pleasures – learn the circuit, ensure there is adequate heat in the tyres - engage your brain. Next – if you’ve survived that first tentative outing - take a leisurely stroll around the paddock where one will always hear mechanical machines being referred to as ‘her’ or ‘she’ or several other colourful uncomplimentary terms referring to the female of our species – how degrading.

Therefore, especially for those eager little boys out there with a lust for power and control over their woman - imagine if you will - your finely tuned mount is in fact a perfectly formed, stunningly beautiful, nubile young woman – treat her with respect, and she will reciprocate in kind – if you’re lucky.

And finally for us girls - mount your steed, be gentle, but do show your mount - he, him, whatever - you are the dominant force, extensive durability testing will quench your insatiable desire for more – should he fail to deliver though, obtain a replacement mount - without delay.

Know your flags by visiting the official website of the Motorcycle Marshals Association – MMA

For Northern Ireland thrill seekers, Kirkistown Track Days apparently aim to give the biker what they want, and that means exceptional value for money.

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