Sunday, 9 January 2011

Captain Pugwash Dinosaur And His Dinosaur Crew v The Upstart Pirates

Motorcycle Real Road Racing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland
A long, long, long time ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, Captain Pugwash Dinosaur and his Dinosaur crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship - pirate rivals intent on seizing control of their sordid little empire built of course from straw bales, because allegedly, there was nothing more stable available in those far away days of yesteryear. So as the Dinosaurs became more frantic - after all, just like their Captain, they were off that rare species, the alleged fabled great yellow bellied - and so Captain Pugwash Dinosaur bellowed to his First Dinosaur Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" - He doth bellows a lot doth Captain Pugwash Dinosaur you doth understand. And so the First Dinosaur Mate he quickly retrieved the red shirt of Captain Pugwash Dinosaur, which the bellowing Captain Pugwash Dinosaur didst adorn and lead his alleged fabled great yellow bellied Dinosaurs to battle against the upstart pirate boarding party. Although some casualties allegedly occurred amongst the Dinosaurs, the pirate rebels were repelled - for allegedly the upstart pirates didst fall at the first chicane of straw bales.

Later that very same day, the lookout screamed that there were now two pirate vessels sending boarding parties of upstarts. The Dinosaurs they didst cower in fear, but Captain Pugwash Dinosaur calm as ever bellowed loudly again, "Bring me my red shirt!" - I didst warn you, he doth a lot of loud bellowing. The battle was on, and once again the loudly bellowing Captain Pugwash Dinosaur and his Dinosaur crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred - those damned straw bales, though some didst allegedly resign - some alleged evil ploy to thwart the upstart pirates perhaps.

Weary from the battles, the ancient decrepit Dinosaurs sat around on deck swilling free beer that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to Captain Pugwash Dinosaur and asked, "Captain Pugwash Dinosaur, why doth you call for your red shirt before the battle?” Captain Pugwash Dinosaur, giving the ensign a look that only a bellowing Dinosaur Captain can give, loudly bellowed, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you Dinosaurs will continue to fight unafraid". And so whilst counting their gotten treasures, assorted benefits and Dinosaur pensions, the Dinosaurs sat in silence marvelling at the courage of such a bellowing Dinosaur Captain.

As dawn arrived the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were even more pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The Dinosaurs became silent and looked to their bellowing Captain Pugwash Dinosaur for his usual command. And the bellowing Dinosaur Captain Pugwash, calm as ever, loudly bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!!

Will the upstart pirates succeed in their quest to overthrow the all powerful, all seeing, loudly bellowing Captain Pugwash Dinosaur And His Dinosaur Crew, and wrest forth from them the keys to the house of straw bales - and the alleged unlimited riches within – or will Captain Pugwash Dinosaur And His Dinosaur Crew be off on some faraway all expenses paid exotic holiday?

Tune in next time folks for another thrilling instalment of Captain Pugwash Dinosaur and His Dinosaur Crew v The Upstart Pirates.

Warning! The foregoing is nothing more than a foreboding riddle, a fable, a fairy story, yes, there could be fairies involved, who knows? It's merely a simple alleged story of alleged simple Dinosaurs, after all - Dinosaurs in sailing ships fighting of upstart pirates - how ridiculous - whoever heard of such a thing, what eejit would be stupid enough to believe such drivel - get real! Twas all a dream - twas the demon drink!

Disclaimer! No allegedly living Dinosaurs, or pirates, were actually bodily injured - or molested, sexually or otherwise in so far as one can reliably ascertain - during the disjointed writing of the foregoing alleged fabled nightmare, although some rather good wine was possibly consumed by moi during the gory process.

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Tomorrow, time permitting, one will in all probability return to reality and the very real issue of alleged safety, or alleged lack of safety at our Northern Ireland real road racing events, possibly even mentioning straw bales in the process.

Perhaps one might even be tempted to mention the lovely caring safety conscious MCUI-UC aka Motorcycle Union of Ireland (Ulster Centre) Limited and those equally lovely caring safety conscious officials of the aforementioned MCUI-UC aka Motorcycle Union of Ireland (Ulster Centre) Limited - Richard Nesbitt for instance, alleged 'former?' convenor of the road inspection committee for looking after competitors' and spectators' safety for the Motorcycle Union of Ireland Ulster Centre, who in 2010 allegedly claimed there was nothing more stable available in 2007 - than straw bales that is - and Tony Harvey of course, alleged incident officer - 'former?' - for the Motorcycle Union of Ireland Ulster Centre, who had allegedly conducted a review of the John Donnan incident, and allegedly said "It could only be described as a freak accident and a risk competitors accept in the pursuit of their chosen sport" What really lovely caring sensitive people those MCUI-UC officials truly are. Brings tears to the eyes! On the other hand, could be the onions.

Save Our Sport From Evil

©2010 Motorcycle RealRoadRacing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland


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