Thursday, 30 December 2010

Saint Peter of Stormont, The Deputy and The Water Diviner

Motorcycle Real Road Racing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland
Shambolic, ineffective, not fit for purpose - fine words that effortlessly spewed eloquently forth from the silver tongued mouth of Saint Peter of Stormont, whilst by his side stood but two of his faithful noble disciples - Deputy Dawg the Brewer, alongside Conor the Water Diviner. Brave noble words, not fired in the direction of those responsible for the current difficulties that has rained down upon their faithful devoted peasants - words directed not at themselves - rather at the nearest available scapegoat, probably that guy who must have received a Blackberry from Santa - the Blackberry he was allegedly playing with while the rest of us were dying of thirst - whilst drowning in the flooded streets of Northern Ireland.

Shambolic, ineffective, not fit for purpose - fine words to which one could probably add - control freaks, arrogant wasters, verbal bully boys, despicable sewer rats, Tandragee, chicane, straw bales - all fine words that allegedly one might use whilst referring to dinosaurs, if indeed there were such ghastly despicably grotesque beings still roaming our beautiful countryside, but since there isn't - one obviously can't make use of the foregoing words to describe them - allegedly.

Perchance though, what if Jurassic Park had been a documentary, if dinosaurs really did again exist in this the 21st century, one does wonder how perhaps they would then pass the time of day in this wee country of ours – now if they had an interest in the sport of motorcycle racing – oops, forgot - they’d never be able to survive – how would it be possible to earn a crust from being in control of all things motorcycle sport in such a wee country as Northern Ireland?

Save Our Sport From Evil

©2010 Motorcycle RealRoadRacing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Do We Live In A Democratic Society - Or Not?

Motorcycle Real Road Racing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland
Even if it does currently resemble a third world country, it's nonetheless sometimes difficult to believe we live in a democratic society - one that allegedly believes in the human rights of its people, each of whom have a right to voice their opinion, and the right to listen, or not listen to the opinions of others.

Each of us has the right to be heard, each of us has the right to hear the opinions of others, and each of us has the right to choose what we believe - whether it's an opinion we've listened to, or read - on a forum for instance.

Apparently though, there are allegedly those in our midst who believe we don't live in a democratic society, who don't want to hear, or read the opinions of others, who'd probably rather we didn't exist - except when they want to get their grubby little hands on our hard earned cash that is. And with our less than democratic government sitting on their fat posteriors up on the hill at Stormont while the rest of us die of thirst, the extreme cold, potholes the size of our empty reservoirs and who knows what diseases are lurking in the filthy water they're dishing out - who could possibly blame those who would have us banned from speaking the truth?

Earlier this year, at the alleged behest of *******, a website with no alleged links to the MCUI-UC, or the dinosaurs - banned little me from their forum for daring to speak the alleged truth about the alleged dictatorial MCUI-UC and the John Donnan inquest revelations.

This was the inquest during which Tony Harvey, incident officer for the Motorcycle Union of Ireland Ulster Centre, who had allegedly conducted a review of the incident, said "It could only be described as a freak accident and a risk competitors accept in the pursuit of their chosen sport"

This was the inquest during which it was said "I can't remember the man saying anything sensible other than nattering away in my ear. If someone is constantly coming at you it is easier just to ignore them" Remember who uttered these now infamous words in Court - No, it wasn't the village eejit - allegedly, it was Richard Nesbitt, alleged convenor of the MCUI-UC road inspection committee allegedly responsible for competitors' and spectators' safety, the very same person who allegedly claimed there was nothing more stable available in 2007 - More stable than straw bales that is! In the year 2007!

Later in the year, for quite a spell, the aforementioned forum then went completely missing - now resurrected - what a convenient alleged opportunity to rid oneself of anything embarrassing that had been written about the MCUI-UC, and the dinosaurs.

Lately, yet another forum appears to have taken a sabbatical, and one has to wonder why - what topics were being discussed - two is what I've heard, though there was probably more - the Harris Healey MCUI-UC media squabble and TAS aka Temple Auto Salvage - that's a scrap yard in the middle of beyond to you, me and the rest.

Alternatively there's Albert and Harold - Steptoe and Son - the stories some of my older colleagues have told about Harold simply beggars belief - someday perhaps, since we allegedly live in a democratic society that believes in freedom of speech - one might consider further researching and publishing aforementioned alleged tales of yesterday.

Quite obviously though, other insignificants - and insignificant items of paddock gossip were most likely being discussed or perhaps not - banter and chatter that may or may not have upset some insignificant other, some insignificant who may or may not have imagined their imagined insignificant self or imagined little empire may have been in danger of being undermined, even exposed - who allegedly has something to hide, one has now to wonder!!!!

Then again, all of the foregoing is a figment of the imagination, none of it is true, it's all been a dream, one was in the shower, dozed off, dreamt it all - after all, we do live in Northern Ireland - nothing here makes sense, not ever. We've had tons of snow, torrential rain - it's always soddin' raining - and now we've no soddin' water - must be dreaming again.

Save Our Sport From Evil

©2010 Motorcycle RealRoadRacing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

Monday, 27 December 2010

Pathetic Death Throes Of The Embarrassing MCUI-UC Dinosaurs

Motorcycle Real Road Racing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland
Have we been witnessing the pathetic death throes of the embarrassing MCUI-UC dinosaurs this past year? From inquests that were both harrowing and embarrassing to the news that Motor Cycling Ireland are allegedly planning to sever all ties with the beleaguered MCUI-UC, and rightly so.

Somewhere in the midst of this script of comedy errors - a homage to the farcical Carry On series of low-budget movies - there also lurks twists and turns worthy of the great Alfred Hitchcock - allegations of a failure to acquire a new Vice Chairman, or a full quota of officials for the disgraced Roads Inspection Committee, the Great Harris Healey Media Caper, and shock horror - this bunch of plonkers at one stage allegedly hadn't even enough pennies in the piggy bank to pay one of their insurance instalments. Nothing beats a good old whip round - what about the next time though? Can the riders, the fans - can anyone who attends a motorcycle race meeting here in Northern Ireland be safe in the knowledge that should they become the victim of yet another unforeseen incident - there won't be a problem with insurance cover?

How can the MCUI-UC allegedly not have the finances to pay for something as unimportant as insurance cover? Perhaps somebody isn't playing the game - isn't claiming all of the available benefits - might one suggest the Benefits Adviser is checked out as a matter of some urgency.

Say what you must about that other waste of space - the Assembly of assorted alleged scum on the hill - at least we are occasionally afforded the opportunity of voting them out, if only to replace them with another flock of alleged scum - the MCUI-UC aka Motorcycle Union of Ireland (Ulster Centre) Limited dinosaurs are with us until they self destruct, which will hopefully be sooner rather than later.

Save Our Sport From Evil

©2010 Motorcycle RealRoadRacing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

Sunday, 26 December 2010

All I Wanted For Xmas Was A Shiny New XXXX! Allegedly!

Motorcycle Real Road Racing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

All I'd really wanted for Xmas was a shiny new XXXX, but sadly it didn't arrive. Nothing to do with the adverse weather conditions - all that white stuff, sub-zero temperatures - some guy swore he'd seen polar bears and penguins skating across a frozen Belfast Lough - in the cold light of Boxing Day now I'm not so sure that he was paralytic drunk as first imagined. Perhaps a colleague was correct when he'd suggested my belief in that guy Santa Claus was a trifle misplaced - I'd written to him at the North Pole - sent him an email - - and had he replied? No, nor had he brought me my presents. Next year I'll act on the advice of my colleague, make public my Xmas wish list - I'll call in the media - newspaper journalists, radio journalists, television journalists, even those nice internet journalists.

'Next Xmas', I'll tell them, 'I want a designer tweed jacket - preferably Harris Tweed - and a new set of wheels perhaps, not that I have an old set, apart from the Yamaha - one of those new Healey Sports Cars would suffice'.

In years long since past - we've all heard the stories - the hacks, local and from across the Irish Sea, what they allegedly knew or cared about the motorcycle racing scene could now be written on a pin head, but what they knew about the hospitality tent the alleged stuff of legends. Did any of them care about whether the racing was good bad or indifferent, or what alleged scheming went on behind closed doors? Not when allegedly pissed as newts on an alleged never ending supply of free booze they didn't. The stories of daring do were still published, even if they were rose tinted as allegedly supplied by local dinosaurs - alleged stories that made local legends, even if they to were at times allegedly as pissed as the hacks, but still managed to race - and win. On the other hand, many perished in those wondrous glory days of Irish real road racing (many still perish) but who cared - they were legends - up there with, even if not quite of the same stature as, the great Finn McCool.

Fast forward to the 21st Century and believe it or not - we still have the dinosaurs, some of the old hacks are still around - somewhere or other - complete with pickled livers one imagines, but now we have - the Internet. The days of the KGB are numbered, secret societies are no longer secret - secrets are published worldwide, if not by WikiLeaks then by anyone with an Internet connection.

It's understandable why the Great High Priest who dost rule the World of motorcycle racing here in Northern Ireland, and all those who dost Worship @ the Elite Holy Inner Sanctum of the Sacred Temple of the Dinosaurs - otherwise allegedly known as, in another bygone age - the Motorcycle Union of Ireland (Ulster Centre) Limited - MCUI-UC - dost banish the evil media from this, his Land of the Dinosaurs. How dare any mere mortal publish the truth about the Dinosaurs, rather than the alleged Fables of the MCUI-UC.

Who indeed needs the media? The Dinosaurs have already made extinct motorcycle real road racing in Northern Ireland, therefore one should read only the Obituaries - not for the name of any gallant competitor who has succumbed to his, or her, chosen sport, but rather the passing of the sport itself.

'Dear Santa, Next Xmas forget about the Harris tweed jacket, and the Healey sports car I requested earlier - next Xmas I want a copy of the local newspaper, the one with an obituary - the one that reads - Real Road Racing Fans Raise A Glass To The Passing Of The Dinosaurs'.

Save Our Sport From Evil

©2010 Motorcycle RealRoadRacing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

Friday, 24 December 2010

Merry Xmas To All - Not The Dinosaurs Though

Motorcycle Real Road Racing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland
Reconstructed, hopefully for the last time, everything working as it should this time around, not quite 'Murphy' but who cares - not me. Just enjoyed a lovely relaxing holiday in a warmer place - then it all went terribly wrong - cancelled flights - snow at home - SNOW! Three days living in an airport isn't good for the stress levels, and then you arrive home and discover the moron in charge of keeping the roads clear of snow - didn't bother his sorry ass. If only we could vote these eejits out of whatever cosy office they inhabit. We're getting salt from Egypt! What happened to the soddin' salt mine we had in Carrickfergus? Wrong type of salt was it?

Merry Xmas to all motorcycle racing fans, the riders, the teams, the sponsors and anyone else I've forgotten. No, I haven't forgotten about the MCUI-UC officials, although I do hope this new ice age kills off every last one of the inept incompetent vermin.

Save Our Sport From Evil

©2010 Motorcycle RealRoadRacing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

UGP Recession Proof Real Road Racing

Motorcycle Real Road Racing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland
Southern Ireland - the Republic of - is for all intents and purposes – bankrupt. So to is our own wee country - Northern Ireland - special thanks for this state of affairs must of course go to the evil bankers, the borrow and spend your way out of annoying little financial problems Labour Party, and our very own local waste of space and money - the parasites on the hill that is Stormont.

Now in the midst of this prolonged recession we have the UGP organisers’ announcement of a massive price increase for their 2011 event - a two thirds increase in admission fees - up from the £15.00 of 2010 to £25.00 and the cited reason - the scumbag fans who evade paying by crawling through miles of Dundrod mud fields. To give a reason for anything is to breed a doubt of it, so no matter what the spurious reason might be for this scandalous decision, what better time than this to increase admission fees to the Ulster Grand Prix - an already dead in the quagmire event some would say - and if not - this is surely the last nail in the coffin.

On the other hand, the foregoing scum have nothing on the dinosaurs, they who've been sucking the life and soul out of the sport of motorcycle racing here in Northern Ireland for years. Attend virtually any real road race meeting in Northern Ireland and you'll allegedly be in the minority - you are not an 'official' - you are not scamming the benefit system whilst living the all expenses paid high life - free accommodation, free meals, travel expenses, free access to all areas, and almost forgot - nor are you one of the vermin actually receiving monetary payments – all an alleged scenario of course.

Whilst most reasonably intelligent real road racing fans would have welcomed and approved the alternative headline - UGP Slashes 2011 Admission Fees - few if any would have appreciated or understood the reasoning behind the breakfast spoiling shock price hike news so indicative of a mindset that just like the dinosaurs - cannot be reasoned with for they have no reason.

Yes, admittedly the two thirds increase only takes the admission cost up to a measly £25.00, and whilst crowds do flock to British Superbikes where the cost for a couple of days entertainment is somewhat higher, there are other subtle superior differences. Ever attempted to access and park your prized possession in the middle of a ploughed Irish swampland? Not an easy task. On the plus side though it does aid the local economy, many are the grateful farmers who've generously taken the time to extract those in need from the clutches of Mother Earth at Dundrod - for an extortionate fee.

Another small issue is the toilet facilities, not much of a problem for primitive macho men, many go where they stand - us ladies though are more refined and discerning, preferring not to make a public spectacle of ourselves, or an exhibit for the attending voyeurs. Eating establishments around the Dundrod area are hardly 5 star either, sporadically located pushers peddling alleged over priced antibiotic-resistant salmonella burgers - the only alternative to snaring and cooking a few of the local rabbits over your campfire - a problem all of it's own when you're under assault from the wet stuff that frequently falls from the skies around Ulster Grand Prix time - and only in the vicinity of Dundord at that.

Another insignificant problem with the UGP is the International status it proudly boasts – which leads one to believe the cream of top class riders from around the World are to be seen fighting tooth and nail for glory, serious injuries, or death. Not so, but then again there are of course the local crop of between the hedge specialists, and those unable to compete successfully in other International events – BSB, WSBK etc etc, although one has to be honest – most can talk a good race - almost.

If not for the dinosaurs, most likely this wee country could have had its very own World class International race track by now - where we could enjoy watching our real Superstar motorcycle racers competing successfully against real International riders from around the World – Eugene Laverty, Jonathan Rea to name but two of the numerous local riders with the necessary self-belief, courage, passion, and commitment to compete at the highest level of their chosen sport.

Save Our Sport From Evil

©2010 Motorcycle RealRoadRacing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland