Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Snowy Whytie And The Magnificent Seven - Fall Guys

Motorcycle Real Road Racing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

The Parody Of The Vanities
We live - you, me, him, her, and that lot over there - in a dog eat dog world, a world in which we each have to possess the ability to protect our asses, the unshakable desire to survive against all of the odds, and God forbid, if things do go pear shape, the unwavering wilfully callous vicious ability to pass the buck, to crush, and destroy your fellow man, or woman, and in particular your designated magnificent seven - fall guys.

To survive the inevitable, the trick is - not to be complacent - always assume the next disaster lurks around the very next corner, anticipate failure, and be prepared for it, not as in - how to prevent it - rather in how to avoid being the fall guy - or to put it another way, how to avoid having your ass hauled through the mire by the assembled media, then through the courts.

To avoid being the individual ass that stops the buck, one should lessen the odds - spread the odds, and hence, you will deftly escape, relatively unscathed.

Be heard, be seen to have delegated - safety officers - that's a job for those seven guys over there, they need to feel wanted, important - give them each a title - that always works, a badge with their name - how important are they now!

With the stage now set, failure is inevitable, the curtain raises, you're Snowy the Master Illusionist, and your first trick - not being part of the much publicised magnificent seven safety officers - the magnificent seven fall guys.

Next, from the audience - pluck an alibi - actually, as many as you can muster - no easy task you might think - but if experience has taught you anything, it's taught you to be media savvy - but first - dispose of the fall guys, disperse them to the three corners of your universe, out of sight - especially from those all seeing cameras.

Flaunt yourself, imagine you're a prostitute, flaunt your body - actually no, come to think of it, scrub the flaunt your body suggestion - cover it with a trendy jacket, preferably a freebie highly visible trendy jacket - pose with anybody who's just as desperate for the publicity as you are.

Now you're covered, your ass that is - should the anticipated disaster actually occur, you've spent the day in front of the cameras, your mug is everywhere, all those witnesses, not a smoking gun was ever in sight - but the Magnificent Seven Fall Guys - what were they doing?

Be first to publicly raise your concerns, ask the questions, the officials in charge of safety - were they doing anything sensible other than nattering away in each others ears? Surely they won't be using the old - it was easier just to ignore the waiting to happen catastrophe routine.

Wait - Wait - Breaking News - It was all a dream - Snowy was in the shower all the time - the show never actually started - some publicity seeking guy spent so much time posing for the cameras - there wasn't time - maybe next year folks. But don't despair, and don't forget to book your grandstand seats for next years exciting Snowy Whytie And The Magnificent Seven - Fall Guys - Show.

The Disclaimer Of The Vanities
All of the foregoing characters are obviously fictitious and any similarity to the names, or characters, of any actual real person or character is entirely accidental and most certainly unintentional, therefore any allegations suggesting the contrary are obviously unfounded alleged allegations and will allegedly be treated as such.

Furthermore, all animals herein, and non-existent herein characters were treated humanely throughout the writing of this post - apart from the one broken nail - on my index finger - left hand - but it's okay folks - I'm right handed - I think.

Save Our Sport From Evil

©2010 Motorcycle RealRoadRacing Blog by Barbiegirl Northern Ireland

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